(Wouldn’t it be easier if they wore these?)

You thought you found the one. The Lord finally answered your prayers! He was kind, considerate, spontaneous, loving, fun, and he was doing quite well for himself. He had all the makings of being Mr. Right…at first. That is, until you let your guard down. You allowed him to emotionally move in and take up space. He was so charming, your family liked him, your friends were envious, and you couldn’t stop smiling. You thought you had the right one. That is until he started changing little by little. Maybe you noticed the inconsistencies in his stories. Maybe he was moodier than the average guy, it was like riding a roller coaster. One day he was nice, friendly, sweet outgoing; the next he was cold, introverted, a couch potato that barely looked away from the television. Better yet, perhaps he told you he had to travel often due to work. You understood because he was the head of his region. He called and texted you often, about how much he missed you. But your gut told you different. Still you didn’t rock the boat, because hey, he treated you well; wined and dined you, even paid a few bills. You had no reason to complain, but you couldn’t remove the nagging feeling in your gut that something wasn’t quite right. You tried to tell some of your friends, but they declared that you were crazy and not used to having, “A good man!” You didn’t have a, “good man,” you had Mr. Opaque he wasn’t transparent or authentic. He danced around your questions, and lied to you with a straight face. He was secretive, and covered up his tracks as best he could. Mr. Opaque had children, and complained about the, baby mamma; which you didn’t question because he seemed to love his children. Most Mr. Opaque’s don’t even see their children, and they don’t want to talk about them, or the woman they had the children by. Strange…but again you didn’t rock the boat because he was a, “Good Man.” He had the basic things you have checked off on your list, right?   What about Mr. Wannabe Right? The man who didn’t quite measure up? He was so cute, kind, thoughtful, attentive, not to mention the great sex. He didn’t measure up because he didn’t have a job but he had plenty of excuses why. He probably still lived with his parent(s), or he had little to no motivation. You noticed he didn’t take care of himself the way you liked. Still you looked the other way because as you put it, he had a “good heart.” Either way you know good and well you were settling. You tried to reason with yourself that hey, you were just getting yours, or hey it was on your terms and you weren’t emotionally invested. You tried to reason with yourself that there aren’t that many good men out there so you were just lucky to have a man. Screen Shot 2015-12-21 at 6.33.55 PM But let me tell you that you are invested, and you were settling. Let me just reiterate that if you are still in the process of looking the other way just to have a man that you are still settling. If you are spending all of your time, energy, and not to mention sharing your body with someone you can’t see yourself being in a committed relationship with, you are indeed settling. Your gut is your natural alarm, and when it goes off you have to listen to it. It can save you from a lot of pain, bad situations, and drama! When you know what you want out of a mate, you won’t just settle for the first guy that comes along, shows you some attention, or brings it in the sack. If you are in love with yourself you won’t need to hear it from someone you know you aren’t truly attracted to. Someone who isn’t a good person deep down inside, or someone you have absolutely nothing in common with. You have to trust yourself, above all else. A secure woman who has self-love won’t consistently look outside of herself for love and attention. She will be connected to the person within. She won’t need Mr. Opaque, or Mr. Wannabe Right who is only in the way blocking her vision and progression to self-discovery, and happiness. Because it is only then will you be totally aligned mind, body, and spirit for Mr. Right. Mr. Right doesn’t have time for your emotional mess, which includes you still holding space for Mr. Opaque or Mr. Wannabe Right. Clear the space in your mind, and heart. Get ready for Mr. Right by falling in love with yourself first. If any of the scenarios ring a bell for you, and you are struggling letting go of Mr. Opaque, or Mr. Wannabe Right then you may qualify for my self-discovery program, the Self-Love e-course. If you are struggling to connect with yourself, or you desire the structure, strategies, and practices that will make it possible to lovingly live your life out loud, and go boldly towards your dreams in every possible way, every day the Self-Love e-course is for you. You can take this e-course in the privacy of your own home, in your own space, on your own time. This course is not for the person who isn’t ready to let go of the deadbeat relationship that sends her on a constant downward spiral of sadness and depression. This course isn’t for the person who is comfortable with living a chaotic life, with arguing, or even worst violence. This course isn’t for the woman who is currently enjoying the ride of the emotional roller coaster. So if you are okay with being in an unhealthy relationship, or dead end relationship this course isn’t for you. On the other hand, if you are over attracting the wrong type of guys, and you want to attract a loving, complete, and grown-up relationship. If you are ready to fall deeply in love with yourself, then this course is for you! Get ready to start the year 2016 off right, #BeYourOwnBoo. binderlayingopen_550x634

Be Your Own Boo!

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button   It’s time to stop playing victim, blaming everybody else, and take control of your love life